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Age; 28
Nickname; the gurner
years with club; 6
fav moment for club; scoring a thunderbolt against
sharrow
worst moment for club; having to play in those blue
jumpers
facts about player; abbey collects bufferflies, his
collection is one to behold
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Age; 27
Nickname; steptoe
years with club; 5
fav moment for club; scoring the winner at turf tavern
2006/7 season
least fav moment; every time i try to control the
ball. its like trying to force two magnets together
facts about player; he used to be mosboroughs nutter but
has lost his crown through turning into a boring roy cropper
type figure. aid was recently arrested for tampering with a
badger but he doesn't like to talk about it. |
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Age;
seven and a bit
Nickname; 5-a-side-tache
Years at club; 2
fav moment for club; i picked the ball up deep inside
my own half, i looked up to see who to pass to but shaun niks
and chip were making daisey chains so i strode on skipping
around challenge after challenge, once i saw the whites of
the keepers eyes i drilled a 35 yarder into the top corner, a
better goal you won't see, honest
least fav moment; all the lads saying that my tache
looks like i'm just mucky
facts about
player; he trains in a stone island coat
(what the f**ks that all about) and a hat. once got caught
sniffing the landlady from the queens knickers as she hung
them on the line to dry
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Age;
26
Nickname; one-ball
Years at club; 3
fav
moment for club; anyone of my 57 goals so far
worst moment; my misses against bradway, i was told
after that david blunkett would have scored two of them
facts about
player; danny is fond of having a nack-sack
n crack job, he likes his balls none hairy and smooth to the
touch
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Age; 12
Nickname; torrez
Years at club; 1
fav
moment; playing alongside nigel, he makes me feel good
when he touches and strokes me all the time
worst moment; gook trapping me in the showers, i'll
never be the same again.
facts about
player; karl loves a drink, three ribena's
and he's anybody's
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Age 25
Nickname; chunks
Years at club; 1
fav moment for club; training in my stunt pants
least fav moment; having my stunt pants ripped off at
training
facts about
player; chunks used to top the scales at 26
stone, he was
advised by his doctor that if he carried on renting
himself out as a kids
bouncy castle then his health would suffer, hence the 16
stone, lean mean fighting machine that exists today |
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Age; 27
Nickname; desmond, turbo, dessy, densil, racoon, scapegoat
plus many
others
Years at club; 4
fav moment for club; showering with the big lads.
least fav moment; being the scapegoat
facts about
player; dale thrives on elderberry juice and
lives in a tree
hollow deep in deepest darkest eckington
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Age; 28
Nickname; deano, or minge fringe
Years at club; 2
fav moment for club; signing
least fav moment; see above
facts about
player; deano models his forehead for
spanking suzi naughty
bits, she is a latex life like sex doll who deano has now
fell in love with
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Age; 28
Nickname; midsy
Years at club; 28
fav moment for club; too many to mention
least fav moment; too many to mention
facts about
player; midsy has recently become a father
for the first time,
he actually realised that if he took off his rubber suit and
gimp mask
that sex could lead to fatherhood.
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Age; 27
Nickname; half man half biscuit, or dicko for short
Years at club; 3
fav moment for club; having a cartoon in our programme
named after me
least fav moment; the above programme completely
taking the piss out of
me
facts about
player; dicko has a good side and a bad
side all in the same
body, when he's good he's very very good and when he's bad
he's horrid
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